Another one gone, and less left

Holy shit!

I just looked at my appointment book.

It's almost September. Wife Marilyn has been in the hospital since June. This summer has been a blur. 

I can remember assorted minutes and hours, maybe even half-days. But not weeks or months.

Where did July go? Where did my life go?

This will be my approximate 50th summer of unfulfilled fantasy.

I will not get to paddle a canoe and then fall asleep in a hammock near a cabin at a lake in the Adirondack Mountains. 

I'll need a second life to check off the remaining items in my to-do-list. I'd really like to visit Morocco, Italy, Greece, Austria, Israel, Egypt, India, China, Japan, Australia, Antarctica, Chile, Brazil. 

Damn.

Kids look forward to birthdays because age implies empowerment.

Later on it just means one less year left.